Dan Florio's Blog

Posted by Dan Florio

When you travel enough, you will eventually find yourself seat-belted next to a smelly troll. Someone with an Air Flavor. Could be the flavor of farts, feet, halitosis, or just plain old BO. Ugh.

I hate this. Can't people shower before a flight? Wash their smelly clothes in a hotel sink or something first?

Have you ever been stuck next to a bad-smelling passenger?You can always try to change seats...although, admittedly, you are in a small confined area, breathing recirculated air. I've heard of flight attendants placing opened coffee packets in seat pockets around the offender. Hey, whatever helps!

Just don't light a match to cover the smell. A plane recently landed because a woman in flight was found lighting matches (which are illegal to bring in planes) to cover the scent of her gas.

There is probably an argument here for ponying up for Business and First Class seats. Usually people paying full fares keep their clothes and bodies clean, and maybe brush their teeth. Maybe. But there's no telling who is going to be gassy that day (it could even be you).

Remember, Beano is your friend.

Posted by Dan Florio

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Posted by Dan Florio

The planes are really getting packed in. In my recent flights I've simply been lucky to not be the poor shmoe stuck in the center seat. Yesterday the dude in the middle was a large fella, overflowing into my seat (aisle) and leaning over the woman at the window. I told him he could have the entire arm rest to himself.

Other than being cramped in a full cabin, my Alaska Airlines San Diego to Seattle flight went more smoothly in other areas - we were fed warmed ginger cookies, for one thing. The flight left on time, arrived on time. I know other airlines are having horrific problems.

This was a relief after the chaos in the San Diego terminal. En route to the airport I passed a sign proclaiming "heightened security". Great. The security check-in line was long, slow and tense. Airport security officials kept shouting about gels, liquids and shoes, loudspeakers announced not to leave your luggage or carry luggage for anyone else, and flustered travelers kept forgetting to remove their jackets.

I've seen calmer airplane check-ins. San Diego is usually a very pleasant airport. This day had everyone on edge. I even forgot to empty the water from my MSR aluminum water bottle. Damn it. I know better! I was pulled aside; my bags were hand searched. The guard told me she could not empty my water out, that I would have to go back into the check in area and empty it there...and then go through security all over again. I told her to just keep the bottle instead. I liked that aluminum bottle but at this point was in danger of missing my flight.

Posted by Dan Florio

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Poking around my obligatory USA Today (free with my hotel room) and noticing I can check stock prices over my cell phone if I wanted.

I'm not a "play the stocks" guy. I understand we have a few mutual funds and have a few environmentally green stocks on the side, but I don't check on such things. Not my interests, really.

But if I WAS on a business trip and I cared, it's nice that I could just use my cell, anywhere I have a signal, and see live quotes.

USA Today says to send a text message to 4INFO (44636) with: Stock Ticker (Dell) or Fund trader (AGTHX).

Have fun. :)

Posted by Dan Florio

Arrrghhh. I hate losing power when I am trying to get some decent work done. As a full-time freelance telecommuter, power in my home is crucial to my livelihood. Not to mention happiness in the brain pan.

With the recent storms here in So Cal, we lost complete and total power for four days. FOUR LONG DAYS. And it's also cold and snowy up here at 5,000 feet.

I couldn't get anything done besides read under blankets in bed (no heat either) with my wife and two dogs. I could also do some writing and take notes for projects. That's really about it. As a workaholic I tried to relax, which was also tough, as my major relaxing activities involve:

• XBox games,
• and watching football.
• Both of which require electricity.

On day five and six our electricity returned. And went back down. And came back on. And then went down. Each time I would lose my unsaved work. Ha, ha! Good times.

Each time I resolved to head down the mountain to the nearest Best Buy and spring for an Uninterrupted Power Supply, or UPS. And I plan to get one anyway, even though this crisis seems to be over.

With a UPS I can at least keep two of my three monitors, plus my computer, running for about an hour in a temporary blackout.

At around $150 for a good UPS, I think it will be a bargain. I just don't handle frustration well. Ask my poor wife. You can look for her under the blankets.

Posted by Dan Florio

NYC is a progressive city, and I did like that when I lived there. In a brilliant move, the City Board of health decided to embargo transfats in restaurant food.

The Washingtonpost.com reports, within six months all New York City eateries will be required to switch to healthier cooking oils, and to reduce total transfatty grams to newly set limits by 18 months.

This is a real boon for travelers, who are forced to eat out most of the time. In my own home, my wife and I have banned all transfats - AKA partially hydrogenated vegetable oils - those deadly free-radical inducing toxic chemicals so prevalent in food products.

When you're traveling, though, you are pretty much at the mercy of whatever bulk fat bins the restaurant taps in its kitchen.

So rejoice if your business trips take you to NYC, soon-to-be land of low bad fats. The rest of your trip might be expensive, but your health won't get any worse.

More on New York and the tran-fatty acids ban.

Posted by Dan Florio

So my laptop chose to stop receiving WIFI networks just before my big trip down the coast. That was going to make doing business while traveling a bit tough.

And while I could use hotel lobby desktops and library computers to check email, I really hate that. I like my own machine, with my familiar bookmarks, password cookies, desktop icons and past history links.

Using someone else's computer is like driving someone else's car - you don't really know how well the gears mesh, where the headlight switch is or how sensitive the brakes are.

Better choices for accessing wireless networks while traveling were:

• to borrow my wife's iPod Touch for checking email (it's awkward for reading and terrible for writing, but the iTouch is reliable and also looks sleek),
• buy a new laptop (!),
• or to suck it up and fix my stupid old, dying laptop before the trip.

Great Timing

The laptop's WIFI meltdown occured two days before moving day and I didn't have time to screw with the thing. I took my laptop to the resident geek at Circuit City for their free "Firedog" checkup.

It turned out I needed to spend $50 on a new wireless USB adapter. The Firedog recommended the Linksys Compact Wireless - G USB Adapter. He also installed it, for free, while I waited. Good service.

An Inelegant Solution

The adaptor looks stupid. It sticks out of my computer like a limb, ready to break off at the slightest jar. One of my USB drives is also now permanently in use, which is annoying, too. However, I can log onto wireless networks, and that is what counts.

Posted by Dan Florio

Ha, I loved this: Survive your Holiday Office Party, at Suite101.com's Workplace Culture. I am not a huge partier in any meaning of the word, but holiday parties can be the worst. Why?

• You are with people you may not really like so much.
• There might free booze, which is great, but also a bad thing…
• Because people who have control over your life will see you acting like a moron,
• And loose lips sink ships (again with the booze).
• You also might end up kissing your secretary (this is more of a New Year’s thing but can still get you in trouble).
• There are many ways you can screw the pooch mixing work, play and possibly dancing to old Prince songs.

Prepare a Party Attack Plan

Being a no show isn't such a great idea. You'll be called a Grinch, a Scrooge or worst of all be labeled: "Not a Team Player."

Arriving fashionably late and ducking out early are good bets. Remember, if you get in later, everyone else might already be smashed, putting you in the control seat. Leaving early also means you’ll never have to be kicked out at the end of the night.

Drinking only a glass or two of the liquor is your next tactic, and saying less than you want to the boss is the best strategy of all. "Merry Christmas Mr. Sprockets," is a good start, followed with, "Your wife looks stunning in that red dress...you're a lucky man."

Say enough happy things to leave a good feeling in people's minds and slip out before you are tempted to have a really, really good time.

Scoot on home or head to a REAL party with actual friends...people who aren't going to remind you every day next month about your copy machine capers in the mail room.

Posted by Dan Florio

I just read Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook - a hilarious, sarcastic worker-drone treatise. I can only say, PLEASE READ this if you've ever been a cubicle worker. Or if, like me, you used to be a cubicle worker and can now celebrate the unfettered bonds of freelance work.

It's written by the Dilbert cartoon guy...or, as the book states, "as told to Scott Adams" by Dilbert's pet Dogbert. Dogbert's advice to being a manager is a tongue-in-cheek program to gently use and abuse your workers, slowly draining their will to live while propping up your own inflated ego. In Dilbert's world, new ideas are dangerous, Boss Logic is irrefutable, and the false hope of advancement is a powerful motivational tool.

It's a quick, fun read. I read it in two nights from different hotel rooms on my recent journey down the coast. Since I just left my cubicle job in a big move both across country and to the world of freelance, the book happily hit close to home. I could leave the capricious whims of middle management behind and laugh at the poor shlubs trapped in my wake. Ha, ha. Parhaps that includes some of you. If so, you might still want to read this Dilbert book.

After all, it's better to laugh than cry, right?

Posted by Dan Florio

They didn't feed me on American Airlines. Not a peanut, a pretzel or a little bag o' chips. Things are getting out of hand on the cheapness scale.

I was just this week on a 41/2 hour flight to Dallas - you'd think some food would have been forthcoming. Actually, there was an option to BUY a bag of chips ( three dollars) or a prepackaged side salad (five bucks). I did have all the free non-booze drinks for the asking and this managed to tide me over somewhat. I have some ideas for how to calm the hunger pangs if you forgot to bring your own snacks - mainly drink coffee (an appetite suppressant) and food-like juices like milk, tomato juice and orange juice - but the point here is that you shouldn't have to. Is it really so tough for American Air to afford a few bags of nuts?